Emma Ferrell
Professor Rashedi
Critical Thinking and Writing 2
17 March 2014
Mindful Self-Reflections:
Facebook and Adolescents’ Development of Identity
As a child, I was a social butterfly. I loved to talk, and making friends was the easiest thing in the world. During this time, I also had an incredible sense of self. I found the question “Who am I?” to be ridiculous. How could I not know who I was? However, everything changed in high school. Around this time, I became extremely self-conscious. Physically, my face and body were changing, and I can’t say I was pleased. The “me” I’d been so used to seeing wasn’t the same, and I didn’t know how to reconcile who I was with who I was becoming. Photos became a source of anxiety, and my confidence plummeted. Socially, my butterfly wings grew wet, and talking in large groups became difficult as I agonized over whether I should say something, and doubted whether anyone would care to listen. In these situations, most parents dole out the old gem of wisdom: “Just relax and be yourself!” So I did. I relaxed, stopped worrying about talking and, in fact, rarely talked at all. People began to think that I was an introvert; however, I was really an extrovert. I found this disconnect between how my peers saw me and how I saw myself fascinating. I realized that in changing my behavior, I had the power to change how others perceived me. The question was, how did I want them to perceive me? More importantly, how did I want to perceive myself? I knew deep down that I wasn’t a wallflower; however, I didn’t feel the need to be as outgoing as when I was little. While the advice to “Just be myself” had helped somewhat, it only ushered in the inevitable age-old question: Who am I, really?
Given that this question has always concerned adolescents, it would be useful to have an understanding of how we develop the concept of the self. In The Encyclopedia of Sociology, Richard B. Felson notes that one of the biggest components of our self-concepts is our general opinion of ourselves, more commonly referred to as our “self-esteem” (2506). At this point, it is important that we address the concept of self-esteem and what we mean by its usage. Most of us are used to hearing the term, and we are accustomed to believing that the goal is to gain high self-esteem. However, researchers have found this ideal of building high self-esteem to be quite damaging. Psychologist Kristin Neff explains our culture’s outlook on the concept: “It is not okay to be average, we have to feel above average to feel good about ourselves. This means that attempts to raise self-esteem may result in narcissistic, self-absorbed behavior, or lead us to put others down in order to feel better about ourselves” (Neff). No one would argue that too low a self-esteem is problematic. At the same time, we can see that having a high self-esteem is also harmful. What we need is a view of ourselves that isn’t self-deprecating nor dangerously inflated, but rather one that accepts our faults and good qualities with care. Neff would describe this stable, balanced perspective towards one’s self as “self-compassion,” and suggests that we abandon the concept of self-esteem in favor of self-compassion (Neff). However, many researchers still measure for self-esteem when studying individuals’ feelings towards themselves. As a result, parts of this paper must operate within a framework that takes the more general concept of self-esteem for granted. Therefore, for the purposes of this paper, it should be noted that if we must use the phrase “self-esteem,” our goal should not be to achieve high self-esteem, but merely to raise it until it reaches a state of balanced neutrality akin to Neff’s concept of self-compassion.
All things being said, we must note that self-esteem is only one aspect of the self-concept. Our self-concepts are also shaped by social comparison, reflected appraisal, and situational self-images. Situational self-images are temporary statements used to describe oneself in a given situation. For example, you might view yourself as lazy when procrastinating, but productive most other times. These statements are temporary; however, Felson notes that, “If repeated, these situational images may become stable as people come to believe them” (2506). When we expose ourselves to particular thoughts and emotions, we are more likely to include them as permanent facets of our self-concept. Another component of our self-concept development is social comparison, in which we compare ourselves to others as a means of evaluating ourselves. Related to social comparison is the concept of “reflected appraisal,” in which “people come to see themselves as others see them” (2507). This concept implies that repeated exposure to others’ opinions of us influences the way we see ourselves, for better and worse. These factors each provide their own insight into our concept-development, but all point to a common message: the people and ideas we expose ourselves to significantly influence our self-perceptions. Given that 80% of the U.S. population uses the internet at an average of over five hours each day (Kemp), it becomes clear that much of what we expose ourselves to comes online.
As the nature of our communication and socialization has moved increasingly online, there has been much media chatter about how Facebook affects adolescents’ self-identification. The overarching message: Facebook is bad for you and will make you unhappy (BBC Future, Time Health & Family, CBS News). For most of us adolescents, this news is distressing, especially considering that 73% of those aged 12-17 use the site (Smith) and that there are well more than a billion users on Facebook as of this year (Facebook). At the same time, these findings beg the question: if Facebook makes us feel so terrible about ourselves, why do we keep coming back? Could it be that Facebook isn’t actually as harmful to our self-perceptions as we are inclined to think?
Many psychological researchers say no, arguing that Facebook causes users to engage in social-comparison behaviors which in turn lead to negative self-perceptions. While Facebook users do frequently post status updates and photos, Dr. Sang Yup Lee observes that “college students on Facebook spend more time observing (or reading) what others think and do rather than creating content” (254). As most young adults can agree, adolescence is a time in which it is nearly impossible to refrain from comparing yourself to others. Felson explains that this preoccupation with social-comparison results “from the desire to gain accurate appraisals of one’s abilities and to find out whether one’s opinions are correct” (2507). While social comparison is often seen as a means of elevating oneself above others, Felson suggests that many of us engage in the practice to feel confident that our self-views are reasonable and not inflated. Considering we spend most of our time observing others’ activities on Facebook, many of us adolescents tend to compare ourselves to our Facebook friends, whether we’re aware of it or not. This can have negative consequences according to “Sweden’s largest Facebook study,” in which researchers found that users who compared themselves to others on Facebook had negative self-perceptions (Denti 27). These findings are echoed by Dr. Lee’s study, in which 199 college students at Michigan State University, ages 18 to 23, completed a survey about their Facebook use (Lee 256). This survey summarizes a positive correlation between how frequently students engage in social comparison and how frequently they think negatively of themselves (258). Dr. Lee and his colleagues suggest that the nature of postings on Facebook may encourage these unfavorable comparisons. Users tend to write about positive things (77.3%), feeling good (51.0%), as well as about major life events (68.7%) (Denti 20). In contrast, people rarely post about negative life events (37.6%) or about negative feelings (15.6%) (Denti 20). Because of this, it seems like everyone we know is living exceedingly happy lives, full of excitement, and free from the personal struggles and negative feelings we experience on a regular basis, which makes us feel abnormal and alone in our suffering. I can relate to this phenomena, as there have definitely been times when my life felt disappointing and uneventful, and repeatedly seeing pictures from friends’ and acquaintances’ seemingly vibrant social lives only made mine feel bleaker. It is easy to feel like you are not as happy as you should be when everyone’s Facebook profile makes their lives seem blissful and care-free. However, social comparison via Facebook may not actually be as uniquely detrimental as researchers are claiming.
The most common rationale behind the claim that Facebook is especially harmful to our self-perceptions is that “[users] may often attempt to portray an idealized picture of themselves on Facebook and that comparing oneself to others’ Facebook personas may therefore be misleading” (Denti 28). According to this idea, we perceive our own lives negatively because others portray themselves online in unrealistically positive ways. However, other psychological studies suggest that this theory is be flawed, citing evidence that our online portrayals are not as exaggerated as previously thought. Psychologists Mitja Back, Juliane Stopfer and their colleagues conducted a study of college students, including 133 from the University of Texas, in which they measured students’ personalities, as well as their ideal-self perceptions. The study also had observers examine the participants’ Facebook profiles and then make assessments of their personalities (Back et al. 372). According to theories derived from studies such as “Sweden’s largest Facebook study,” the personalities observed on Facebook should most closely resemble the participants' exaggeratedly idealized selves. However, the study found that while the observer personalities were primarily positive in nature, they matched more closely with participants’ actual, rather than idealized, personalities (Back et al. 373). Although we are getting an entirely positive view of our friends’ lives, this view is not exaggerated or made-up. It’s true that this online view neglects the unsavory, dull parts of their life; yet is this really any worse than social comparison in “real-life”? Most of us have acquaintances and friends whom we don’t know intimately and, as a result, we are unlikely to see the full range of emotional highs and lows they experience on a daily basis. All too frequently we find ourselves thinking, “If only I was as skinny/had as good of grades/was as involved as her, I’d be as happy as she is.” However, if we compare ourselves to those we don’t know well, our self-perceptions are likely to suffer because we all tend to conceal our suffering. Certainly, comparing ourselves to others via Facebook is harmful; however, it’s not necessarily any more harmful or misleading than comparing ourselves to others in everyday, face-to-face encounters.
In fact, some research has even shown that Facebook can have positive effects on our self-perceptions. For example, in a study conducted by Dr. Jeffrey Hancock and Dr. Amy Gonzales of Cornell University, college students were placed in one of three conditions. Some were told to edit their Facebook profiles, some were sat in front of a mirror, and a control group stared at a blank computer. After three minutes, the participants were each given a questionnaire to assess their self-esteem (Hancock 80). Interestingly, the study found that participants who edited their Facebook profiles reported higher self-esteem than those of the other two groups (Hancock 82). When reflecting on this study, I realized that I could relate to its findings. During the time in which I was most self-conscious about myself, visiting my Facebook wall (now called a timeline) made me feel better about myself. Visiting my page, I was greeted with a smiling picture of myself, and I actually thought this photo made me look pretty. Scrolling down my wall, I saw a list of photos and comments from the past months, reminding me that I did in fact have friends who appreciated me as I was. Frequently visiting my page made me feel better and more secure about the person I had become in high school. Quoted in an article on his study by Stacey Shackford, Dr. Hancock reiterated my personal observations: "Unlike a mirror, which…may have a negative effect on self-esteem if that image does not match with our ideal, Facebook can show a positive version of ourselves" (Shackford). In a sense, our Facebook profiles and timelines serve as magic mirrors in which we are invited to see the good things about ourselves. Once again, it must be remembered that the goal is not to achieve such a high self-view that we ignore our human faults. At the same time, if these positive self-reflections can pull us out of the trenches of unnecessarily negative self-views, we may find it easier to achieve that balanced perspective of self-compassion.
Facebook can also improve one’s perspective of themselves through self-affirmation, which Dr. Catalina Toma explains as “unconsciously attending to information…that captures essential aspects of the self-concept in a positive and accurate manner…[and] reminds people of who they are, what is important to them, and what makes them valuable” (Toma 202). Toma identifies several self-affirming activities, which include “writing about one’s most important values, receiving positive feedback on important dimensions of the self-concept, [and] simply thinking about one’s family and friends” (Toma 202). Facebook provides avenues for each of these self-affirming activities. By updating aspects of our profile such as political and religious preferences, favorite music, and inspirational people, we identify some of our “important values.” Dr. Hancock also writes that “Feedback from friends posted publicly on people's profiles also tend to be overwhelmingly positive” (qtd. in Shackford). Thus, Facebook also fulfills the second self-affirming activity Toma lists. Facebook certainly makes us think about our family and friends, as our newsfeed is inundated with updates of our loved ones’ lives. In theory, repeated exposure to all of this information should be self-affirming, and thus help us to feel more content in ourselves. Dr. Toma’s research supports this idea. She and other researchers had participants in a study examine their Facebook profile pages for five minutes and complete an implicit self-esteem test afterwards (206). Their findings revealed that users “viewed themselves more favorably on a deep, unconscious level” after exploring their Facebook pages (Toma 211). This study suggests that going on Facebook reinforces the positives in our lives and serves as a visual reminder of what makes us who we are. Because Facebook presents these reminders in a positive fashion, it reinforces a more positive, compassionate self-concept as well. However, being made to feel good about who you are is really only useful if you feel you know who you are to begin with.
In “Social Network Sites and Young Adolescent Identity Development”, writers Geordy Reid and Wanda Boyer explain how Facebook may actually aid adolescents’ in their process of self-discovery. Reid and Boyer explain that adolescence is when people “test the waters” of self-perception, so to speak. They try out different forms of self-portrayal in social situations and see what “works” and what doesn’t. This may sound familiar to many readers, especially those who went through or know someone who went through an excessively “girly” or “emo” phase at some point in their teens. It seems normal to us that teenagers explore identities during adolescence. The fascinating part comes when one considers how new technologies like Facebook allow this exploration process to evolve. In reference to identity-exploration, Reid and Boyer write that “technologies like FB allow instantaneous interaction as certain types of identities or as several unique identities through manipulations of self-presentation” (245). Through Facebook, adolescents explore different identities by changing the way in which they present themselves online.
Reid and Boyer suggest that this online exploration presents a distinct advantage over identity exploration in “real-life” social situations. For example, if I decide I want to be a funnier person and tell a joke at school, to which no one laughs, I am likely to feel severely embarrassed and awkward. I will probably decide that being funny is not something I’m good at, and I will reject this characteristic from my self-concept. If it’s a painful enough experience, it may also deter me from trying out other identity-linked social behaviors as well. On the other hand, Reid and Boyer note that, “If the individual’s self-presentation is uncomfortable or rejected [on Facebook], they more easily avoid face-to-face criticism by rapidly returning to exploring alternative identities” (246). Here, Reid and Boyer suggest that Facebook provides adolescents with a more efficient, less embarrassing manner in which to explore options for self-presentation. Reid and Boyer also write that “If one’s self-presentation is accepted or leads to satisfaction on FB, the individual internalizes their social reception and proceeds with…that identity” (246). If one’s identity exploration is positively reinforced online, he or she will be more likely to include this identity in their stable self-concept.
While Facebook provides a more comfortable atmosphere for identity exploration, the nature of the site also places constructive boundaries on this exploration. Modern-day philosophers Tamara Wandel and Anthony Beavers explain how our relationships on Facebook are almost always grounded in “real-life” relationships with those who actually know us. They write:
This partial lack of anonymity is important because it adds a ‘restraint of
accountability’ to the representation of the various fictions that I try out.
Whatever I decide to become must fit somewhat with what I already am
because my ‘friends’ are present to ‘call me out’ if I try to pass myself off as
someone too different from whom they perceive me to be. (92)
Wandel and Beavers suggest that the real-life connections of Facebook keep teens from “trying out” identities so drastically different from their previous selves that they will be unable to reconcile who they were with who they are trying to be. In a sense, the nature of Facebook encourages adolescents to explore identity in a slower-paced manner so as not to be conspicuous. This pacing allows teens to think of their coming-of-age as a steady evolution rather than a series of abrupt and shocking changes. Because of this, teens can explore possible identities without risk of feeling that they’ve suddenly woken to someone they no longer recognize.
In her article, “Be who you want to be: The philosophy of Facebook and the construction of identity,” Katie Ellis provides background information on how these explored identities become a stable part of our self-concepts. Referencing American philosopher and psychologist George Herbert Mead, she explains that we view ourselves “in relation to other people,” noting that, “In the first instance we are an object to others, and then when we take the perspective of other people…[and] become an object to ourselves” (39). What this means, within a Facebook context, is that in designing our profiles, we create an “object” of ourselves for others to see. Then, when we look at our own profile pages, we are able to observe ourselves as “objects” as well. In other words, we can view ourselves objectively. Ellis reiterates this point, writing that, “On Facebook, identity is a choice, an object we choose to project. When I maintain my Facebook page I select a 'me' to project to the world, and myself” (39). According to this concept, when I post photos of myself from dance concerts, I am not only telling my Facebook friends, “Look, I’m a dancer!” but am also reminding myself that this girl named Emma, whom I consider myself to be, is a dancer. This can be related back to Felson’s factors of concept-development. My online portrayal of myself as a dancer serves as a self-statement (i.e. I am a dancer), and the more frequently I expose myself to this idea (by visiting my own Facebook page) the more readily I accept is as part of who I am. In this way, by portraying myself to others on Facebook, I reinforce critical parts of my own self-concept.
Another interesting aspect of Facebook is the wide assortment of individuals present to view this identity-development. As an adolescent, one is likely to be “Facebook friends” with classmates, family members, friends, and teachers alike. As a result, one is forced to consolidate their various roles as student, friend, niece, daughter etc. into one cohesive whole on Facebook. Philosopher Mimi Marinucci writes of this phenomena: “On Facebook, I must be the same person with all of my friends as I would be with any one of them; each of them is the potential audience for any comment I might post” (Facebook and Philosophy 74). Because you must present yourself to all audiences on Facebook at once, the site forces users to have integrity. This is beneficial to the adolescent self-concept because rather than jumping back and forth between various self-portrayals and societal roles, they must find some common ground between the aspects of their identity. As a result, they are likely to feel less fragmented and more grounded in a centralized sense of self. Even better, Wandel and Beavers suggest that for newer teens who have entered adolescence with Facebook, “the need for any discovery of this sort may never arise in the first place, since an online environment that shows oneself to multiple constituencies simultaneously is all they may ever know” (Facebook and Philosophy 95). This means that those exposed to Facebook from an early age may even enter adolescence with more holistic, less conflicted self-concepts to begin with. This is certainly a hopeful insight for future generations.
Adolescence is a particularly turbulent time in our development as humans. As we gain a greater awareness of ourselves and those around us, we become more self-conscious and unsure of ourselves. As we begin to recognize our independence, we also become aware that we have a great amount of control over how we present ourselves. In a sense, we realize that we must design the path that will lead us to who we are supposed to be. If we know who we’re supposed to be, that is. The process of discovering this can be confusing and disconcerting, as my friends and I can attest. The number of existential discussions we’ve shared this quarter alone astounds me. It’s hard to know how to start to tackle questions such as, “Who am I?” and “What will make me happy in life?” Although the process seems daunting at times, a good place to start is understanding how we’ve come to the self-perceptions we now possess. We are a product of our experiences and our environment, and, for many of us, Facebook is now a part of that environment.
At the same time, we need to remember that during adolescence, our self-confidence, and self-concepts in general, are extremely fragile and require gentle care. Because of this, we need to be mindful with how we use Facebook. To safeguard against undue self-criticism, we must remember that while the depictions of life in our news feed are accurate, they’re also biased in favor of all-things positive. If we wish to truly understand another’s experiences, we must take part in true communication, sharing our personal stories with all of their varied highs and lows. On another note, if you’re feeling down and uncertain, try spending some time tending to your Facebook profile. Pick out a flattering profile photo and spend some time updating your “preferences.” And when you’re done, check back in from time to time. It’s like smiling at yourself in the mirror: it may seem silly, but seeing a happy reflection of yourself really does make a difference. By providing an opportunity to choose how we present ourselves, Facebook gives us the power to select the reflection we see in each of our mirrors.
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